


Intertwined

by postingpebbles



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Katsuki Yuuri-centric, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Poignant, Yuuri needs to realize how much people love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postingpebbles/pseuds/postingpebbles
Summary: How do you become friends with someone? Howcanyou become friends with someone?When do you become an irreplaceable fixture in a person’s life?Yuuri wishes he knew the answer.A small study into Yuuri's relationships with everyone he meets, and the intricacies of the bonds between passing souls.





	Intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> A fair warning: There _may_ be some butchering of figure skating terms below, but I've tried to keep it vague enough in the timeline so that there's nothing glaringly wrong. 
> 
> Also, there were some weird feelings of mine that I was trying to get across in this story, so apologies if it sounds a little wonky.
> 
> All typos and strange wordings are mine; please forgive. 
> 
> Enjoy!! :)

How do you become friends with someone? How _can_ you become friends with someone?

When do you become an irreplaceable fixture in a person’s life?

Yuuri wishes he knew the answer.

 

∞

 

Yuuri is a quiet child. Shy. But determined, if Minako-sensei has anything to say about it.

The other children, though, only know him as “Katsuki-kun”—the boy who does ballet. The boy who only hangs out with their senpais.

Yuuko and Nishigori are really the only people he can comfortably call “friend,” even if they are three years his senior. They've been skating together for years, and in skating there is no age gap—

Just silly smiles and proud hugs after a successful spin.

 

∞

 

Despite popular belief, Yuuri _does_ want a friend.

Yuuko is nice. Nishigori could be nic _er_. But there’s a secret, _secret_ little part of him that wants someone more—someone he’s allowed to breathe words into, tell about his dreams, tell about anything he wants.

He hasn’t found that person yet, but he hopes he will soon.

 

∞

 

Yuuri is twelve years old when he experiences an awakening.

Minako-sensei has made him dabble in many skills apart from ballet, and figure skating has been one of them since he was five. He’s gone along with it to humor her (and to also see Yuu-chan more after she’s gone off to high school), but it is when he sees _him_ that inspiration floods Yuuri’s body and fills the cracks he hadn’t even noticed forming throughout the years of loneliness.

Now, Yuuri has a goal.

He _will_ meet Viktor Nikiforov on the world stage someday.

 

∞

 

He _begged_ for a puppy as soon as Yuuko showed him a magazine article that featured Viktor Nikiforov's own dog, Makkachin, and Vicchan is _everything_ that Yuuri has been looking for. 

For years, the tiny brown poodle becomes his entire world. He is the one who gets to hear Yuuri’s whispered confessions every night, who soaks up the tears and sadness of his budding anxiety, who lovingly snuggles into his arms because he _knows_ what Yuuri is feeling because he’s just like that.

By the time Yuuri has thrown himself into the world of figure skating, he can sense that he’s become even more ostracized from his classmates, unwittingly isolating himself because he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing. Of messing up a friendship that could be. Of never letting himself get too close to anyone else because he’s scared of what they think.

But perhaps maybe it’s because no one ever tried hard enough to patiently chip through the wall Yuuri has built (and keeps building) with each passing day.

He hears quiet conversation of how _good Katsuki-kun’s English is, does he think he’s better than all of us? He just keeps to himself and never talks unless Sensei speaks to him first; he’s so_ weird.

He tries to tell himself that he doesn’t care. There’s nothing else Yuuri needs more than his family (even if Mari-neechan sometimes teases him too much), the ice and skating (because there he feels weightless and free and untouchable every time he dances there), Yuuko and Nishigori (who are drifting closer and closer together to each other), and Vicchan.

Vicchan, who Yuuri can safely call his best friend.

 

∞

 

Yuuri drifts through life. He enters regional skating competitions (with Minako-sensei listed as his coach and Yuuko’s kaa-san still helping him even after Nishigori and Yuuko herself have stopped), scrapes by with a few medals, enters nationals, scrapes by again, and is somehow recognized on the world stage.

He is closer to his goal of skating on the same ice as his idol. As Viktor Nikiforov.

His friendships with Yuuko and Nishigori are beginning to fade slightly as he progresses (even if Yuuko still texts him every now and then), and Yuuri tries not to notice this. _It’s about time,_ he thinks bleakly to himself one day. No one ever really stays. Yuuri’s too high-maintenance to ever keep a friendship with.

But he still keeps trying with them because how pathetic would be be to just abandon the first people who ever wanted to stay with him?

And so Yuuri throws himself into skating while simultaneously reaching out to them. He stumbles over triple jumps like he does honesty and communication with others, but smiles as his step sequences begin to smooth on the ice like his interactions with his two friends.

He eventually gets selected for Junior Worlds.

Then Yuuri skates and skates and skates until his feet are blistered and bleeding and his heart pounds with exhilaration.

 

∞

 

He has different relationships with each of his family members.

Okaa-san is a steady presence—as attuned to Yuuri’s idiosyncrasies as Vicchan is—which is something that secretly comforts him. A mother’s intuition, he thinks when she quietly walks in on him having a panic attack one day that even _Vicchan_ is having trouble coaxing him out of.

She rubs his back, whispers for him to _breathe, Yuuri,_ and wraps her warm, soft body around his. Yuuri gasps and chokes, his tears and snot running in rivulets down his face, and he buries his face into her chest, not caring that he’s getting her clothes wet. She stays in this position until Yuuri falls asleep in her lap, but he wakes up in his bed with his covers wrapped snugly around him like a hug.

He pads to the family dining area, closed off from all the guests, and nearly cries when there is a large, steaming bowl of katsudon waiting for him. There’s no one else in the room except for Vicchan, so no one really sees when Yuuri actually _does_ cry as the first bite of crispy pork cutlet, egg, peas, carrots, and rice pass his lips.

There’s something so intrinsically comforting about the dish that Yuuri can’t quite explain well enough. It provides a sense of home, he thinks. Of safety, and of warmth and security.

Yuuri’s relationship with his mother is one he cherishes. It’s not quite a friendship (there are many things he hesitates to tell anyone besides Vicchan’s fur), but it is something that makes him happy. It’s a relationship full of love and understanding and he wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Mari-neechan and his father are . . . a little different.

Otou-san is—clumsy, so to speak. He’s loud and boisterous and unafraid to speak his mind about things he likes (or doesn’t like), which is the polar opposite of Yuuri’s shyer demeanor. He likes to drag Yuuri into overcrowded places (such as to the occasional Saga Tosu game), is a little more vocal in his support of his skating career (even if he doesn’t understand it or Yuuri’s anxiety any better than his mother and sister do), and likes drinking a lot more than should be healthy.

His father isn't that great at heart-to-hearts, and the effort is embarrassing, but Yuuri secretly loves them.

Mari, however, is a little more understanding about his skating, but is much worse at communication. She gives Yuuri these awkward hugs and tries to talk with him every once in while, which Yuuri receives just as awkwardly. They skirt around each other as they grow up.

But Yuuri appreciates her and everything she does for him in between their years.

He loves the late nights where they stare at the stars and trace their dreams, the time she sneaks him a cigarette and Yuuri chokes and swears off any nicotine ever— _and I mean it Mari-neechan!_ —and the mornings when she drives him to school and makes him feel cool for once because it was his older sister with her multiple piercings and dyed blond hair.

Yuuri has nothing but love for his family.

Because it’s easy with them. There’s no worry about saying the wrong thing, unlike with other people, and Yuuri can laugh and laugh and laugh without fear of the future.

 

∞

 

Yuuri refers to Minako as his second mother.

In his head, at least.

He’s mentioned before how she’s the one who trained him in ballet and other forms of dance, pushed him into figure skating, and cheered for him at every competition.

Yuuri’s incredibly grateful to her. With her, he’s learned how to move in and with the music instead of to it, and _feel_ it guide him through the steps and rhythms and beats. He keeps time with his body. He feels the pressure and fear escape through his pores as sweat, and he can sleep better later.

Minako sees this, of course. And she gives him a key to her studio.

Yuuri seems to spend more time there than at home. It’s something that he should probably be ashamed of, but the smooth hardwood and the glistening, spotless mirrors are too much of a temptation to ignore.

 

∞

 

Yuuri also gets keys to the Ice Castle. There, he can dance for hours on top of the ice without disturbing anyone.

He carves figures to de-stress.

 

∞

 

The Junior competitions are terrifying.

By now, Yuuri is one of the older competitors, but he’s still a little afraid to socialize.

The tantalizing prospective friendships hang just in front of him (maybe in Christophe Giacometti, that blond, curly-haired Swiss boy, or Sara Crispino, that Italian girl and her twin brother Michele), but Yuuri shies away from them and just focuses on his skating. He needs every single jump to be perfect.

After the event, with a silver medal hanging around his neck, Yuuri hangs around Minako for comfort. She attempts to push him away, to make him _make friends_ , but Yuuri shakes his head vigorously until the two people he thought of earlier (the gold medallists in their respective brackets, actually) suddenly tug him away from Minako and start jabbering away to him in accented English.

Well, Yuuri’s English is pretty accented, too. He’s a little embarrassed by his improficiency (even if Minako _has_ been teaching him for years), but Sara and Chris don’t care and eagerly trip over their words and accidentally dip into Italian and French when they get too excited. They laugh kindly when Yuuri has to resort to Japanese to say something, and instead of feeling hurt, he feels . . . warm.

Viktor Nikiforov is no longer in the Junior division, but has been in the Seniors since he was fifteen, so Yuuri’s missed out on skating on the same ice as him by a few years. And when Chris mentions his chance meeting with Viktor, Yuuri is so incredibly jealous.

“If you keep skating like _that,_ though, then you’ll definitely meet him!” Chris chirps, pounding Yuuri’s back with a solid hand.

Yuuri’s smile is tentative. It sounded like a compliment, so Yuuri takes it.

  
∞

 

Yuuri’s growth spurts begin to slow down once he reaches seventeen.

“Yuuri, I’m not sure how much I can teach you any longer,” Minako admits one day in the studio. “Have—um, have you considered looking for another coach?”

Yuuri’s doing cool-down stretches as she speaks. “No.”

“Well . . .” And the unfamiliar hesitancy in Minako’s voice makes him look up. “There’s a coach in America,” she continues telling him, a small, but proud smile on her lips. “He saw you at Worlds. Your gold-winning performances. You were already wondering what you were going to do after high school, right? So why don’t you go to an American university while you transition to Seniors?”

It’s something that most skaters would dream of. A chance to break free from home and learn new things, new skills, meet new people, but Yuuri isn’t like most skaters.

“I’ll think about it,” he murmurs, inadvertently counting up sums and sums of money in his head for the fortune an American education (and coaching fees) would cost. It makes Yuuri feel sick.

But it’s his dream to skate, and his dream to meet Viktor, and his dream to stand on top of the world.

And when Minako later breaks the news to his parents (because Yuuri was too afraid to ask them for something that selfish), they, of course, are hesitant, but supportive.

They know how much the ice means to Yuuri— _”and that lovely young man on your walls!”_ equally so—and all they want is for him to be happy. But realistically, their onsen is one of the last few in Hasetsu, and Yuuri’s meager winnings from Junior competitions aren’t going to cut it for much longer.

Being without a proper coach means that there haven’t been exorbitant fees for that portion of Yuuri’s skating career, but boots and blades and costumes are ridiculously expensive already. How much are his parents sacrificing for him? How many expenses are they keeping hidden?

Mari graduated from high school years ago, and is well-set on her way to inheriting the onsen once their parents grow too old to manage it. Their onsen is a “family business,” code for “they can’t afford to hire anyone right now because what they’re earning is much too little to keep paying anyone steadily.”

How could he ask his parents to send him to America?

He wanders through the next few days, his world growing hazy and colorless as his worry and guilt build too much in his mind and push him closer to breaking down. Vicchan manages to stave off the worst of it, and Yuuri stays longer and longer hours in both Minako’s studio and Ice Castle.

(But it seems that he’d been worrying too much because he ends up getting a scholarship to that university, greatly reducing the financial burden, and suddenly everything seems more attainable.)

 

∞

 

Celestino Cialdini is his new coach’s name.

He smiles a lot and he greets Yuuri with a boisterous “Ciao ciao!” that makes him crack a small smile after that long, harrowing flight from Fukuoka to Detroit.

Celestino drives Yuuri to his dormitory near the university and gives him a campus map, a timetable, and plenty of things to keep Yuuri distracted before he has to go to bed.

But of course, Yuuri asks to go to the rink as soon as he digs his skates out from his luggage.

“You skate figures?” Celestino asks, shocked once he sees his warm-ups, and Yuuri nods quietly without even looking up.

They’ve always been calming, allowing his worries to fall by the wayside at least while he’s on the ice. It doesn’t hurt that they make his edges cleaner and strengthen his already-artistic step sequences in his programs.

“I will return to my room when I am finished,” Yuuri tells him as politely as he can, but Celestino deigns to watch the rest of his practice.

Now feeling thoroughly anxious, Yuuri throws himself into a few doubles to warm up, then triples once he feels more comfortable. He touches down every few jumps, but his blade cleanly lands on the surface of the ice with the triple axel. It’s always been his favorite jump. No quads yet, but he hopes Celestino will be able to successfully teach him.

Then Celestino cheers proudly after another successful jump, and Yuuri’s heart warms.

  
∞

 

“You’re Yuuri Katsuki!” the energetic new skater screeches when he rushes into the rink while Yuuri’s running through his short program for this year’s Grand Prix.

Then Yuuri flinches and tumbles down in a heap as he’s doing one of his more complicated step sequences to date. And he’s just got it up to tempo too . . .

“Who are you?” he asks, sounding a little ruder than he intended and wincing when he feels the slight ache in his hips.

“Phichit Chulanont,” says the skater, his smile blinding despite Yuuri’s earlier tone. “I’ll be your new rinkmate!”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Yuuri mumbles, skating off after a slight dip of the head. It’s not like they’ll ever really talk to each other again anyway.

He’s wrong.

Because Phichit Chulanont first becomes his roommate, then his best (human) friend.

  
∞

 

Phichit is a little like Vicchan, Yuuri finds himself thinking sometimes.

He’s warm and cuddly and _so_ easy to talk to. He doesn’t make Yuuri feel nervous, he knows when to leave Yuuri alone, and knows when Yuuri wants comfort even without asking.

Phichit makes Yuuri feel included, often going out of his way to make him smile.

It means a lot to him more than Phichit could possibly know.

  
∞

 

Then Yuuri is twenty-three years old, and standing at the edge of the ice before his short program in his first Senior Grand Prix Finals in Sochi.

Anxiety swims in his mind, blurring his skates as he moves to the center, but the shouts of _Ganbatte, Yuuri-kun!!_ and the cue of his music manage to break through his haze.

He flicks his wrist and sashays his hips as he dances across the ice, making him forget about the jumps scattered throughout the program. Yuuri forgets about the possibility of failure and only remembers the _joy_ of landing cleanly on the outside or inside of his blade, and skates in time with the music.

Yuuri could  _win this._ He's so close.

 

∞

 

And then everything falls apart the next day. A fitting punishment for how selfish Yuuri has been.

His phone suddenly buzzes in his warm-up jacket, and he takes it out, confused. Why would his sister be calling him before a competition? But it's got to be important, so he answers anyway.

“Hello? Mari-neechan?”

_“Yuuri . . . I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”_

“. . . Nee-chan?” Yuuri frowns as he listens to her rough voice. He's feeling a little worried. "What's wrong?"

 _“It’s Vicchan,_ " she says quietly. _"He—he got out of the house somehow and was hit by a car. I’m sorry, Yuuri. He's gone._ "

His ears ring.  _What?_

"Oh," he feels his mouth saying, even as the floor falls out from under his feet, even as a tightness squeezes his chest. "Okay."

Then Yuuri taps the _end call_ button on his phone and goes calmly to the rink.

 

∞

 

Three and a half minutes. That's all it takes for Yuuri to finally recognize that his world is crashing around him.

He slams into the ice after every single one of his eight jumps when he thinks of Vicchan's little puppy smile. His stunning step sequences are reduced to a clumsy duck's wobble when he thinks of Vicchan rolling around in the sand lining the beaches back home. And his spins become slow and lackluster when he thinks of how many whispered secrets he's hidden in Vicchan's fur.

Yuuri doesn't need to look at the board to see that his score is abysmally low.

And there is much more crying than kissing done at the Kiss and Cry after he steps off the ice, and he sobs harder into his hands as Celestino whispers in soft, comforting Italian while he rubs his back.

The hole in Yuuri’s heart bleeds.

  
∞

 

_“A commemorative photo? Sure!”_

Yuuri turns and walks away.

 

∞

 

Sixteen flutes of champagne the same night.

Blurred lights.

Then darkness.

  
∞

 

_“I’m sorry, Coach Celestino, but I think I need a break.”_

_“Of course, Yuuri. Come back when you’re ready.”_

_“Thank you for everything.”_

  
∞

 

Time passes.

Yuuri’s back home now, whiling away the hours by helping out in the onsen and falling back into the familiar dynamic within his family.

He’s no longer the seventeen-year-old boy they sent to America on a plane, but a twenty-three year-old man they aren’t sure what to do with. But his mother’s hugs feel the same, his father’s laugh is unchanged, and his sister’s dry wit is still there.

They are as irreplaceable to Yuuri as it seems he is to them.

  
∞

 

He eventually skates for Yuuko.

He skates for the girl his past self fell in love with, for the girl who introduced him to Viktor Nikiforov’s skating, to the girl who never gave up faith in him.

It’s only fitting that _she_ sees the routine that called out to him with a voice full of loneliness and longing.

Funnily enough, it also manages to pull Viktor Nikiforov himself to sleepy little Hasetsu all the way from St. Petersburg.

  
∞

 

In all his naked glory, Viktor rises from the steaming onsen and announces with a grand flourish, “Starting today, I’m your coach!”

Sakura petals fly into Yuuri’s face and into his open mouth, and he’s sure his horrified screeches can be heard all the way from Tokyo.

  
∞

 

Yuuri doesn’t realize it then, but this silly man standing naked in his family’s hot springs will be the person who changes his life.

He will tell Yuuri to skate to Eros, a song on sexual love.

He will ask what Eros means to him, and Yuuri will blurt out the name of the dish he’s been denied as he struggles to lose the weight he gained after his failure at the Grand Prix Final, instead of the name of the man he’s loved his entire life.

He will ask Yuuri to seduce him during Onsen on Ice after Yurio’s Agape program, and Yuuri will, having danced like a woman in Minako’s studio the entire night before.

Then they will fall into a hesitant sort of friendship, deepening into affection, then culminating into a kiss before the whole world during the Cup of China.

And before his free skate during the Rostelecom Cup, Yuuri will tell Viktor to go home to Makkachin because _no one_ deserves to suffer from the same pain he did when Vicchan died.

They will pull each other into a strong embrace in Fukuoka International Airport while Makkachin, alive and well, paws at their ankles while his pink tongue lolls out happily.

Then they will give each other something round and golden and engraved with half a snowflake as they sightsee in Barcelona, and Viktor will announce to every single skater competing in the Final that they’re engaged, and will get married once Yuuri wins gold.

But Yuuri will try to push Viktor back to ice after his less-than-stellar performance of Eros (it’s too technical, too cold, too distant—there is no _love_ in the way he dances to the music), and Viktor will cry pearly tears that drip onto the white of his bathrobe.

Then Yuuri will break Viktor’s long-standing free skate record the next day and win silver, just a _fraction_ of a point away from gold, and ask Viktor to stay with him longer—to stay close to him and never leave.

And Viktor will say _yes._

  
∞

 

So Yuuri will find the person who’s not afraid to show that he loves him, who takes up a special place in his heart, who becomes his everything. The person who becomes irreplaceable.

All this will happen, but Yuuri doesn’t know this yet as a deep blush climbs up his neck when he realizes just how naked Viktor Nikiforov is as he stands up in the middle of his family's onsen.

Because the person he’s been searching for . . . is the one he's been chasing for almost his entire life.

 

∞

 

People forge connections easily. 

It only takes a simple conversation, a little smile, or a chance meeting.

Then, your fates start to weave together. They intertwine, becoming a beautifully tangled knot of love and friendship and warmth because of all the other people who care for you.

And one day, Yuuri will see this in his mind's eye, staring in awe at all the different-colored strings tethered to his heart. Then he will smile as he closes his eyes, feeling overjoyed tears begin to flood his eyes. There has been so much love for him from everyone around him, and it's a little crazy that he's only just realizing this at twenty-three years old. 

But he's got a whole lifetime to strengthen those connections even further, and to make a few more along the way.

Yuuri's sure about that. 

 

∞

 

**Author's Note:**

> I originally started this oneshot when I was a little down around a month ago, but I'm feeling a lot better now and so this fic is finally completed!! I really, really hope you liked it, and please do tell me what you thought :)
> 
> [Tumblr](postingpebbles.tumblr.com)


End file.
